A lecture about slowworms

There are all kinds of snakes
iron-fisted chauvinist snakes who like to beat up women
grass snakes who guard the yard
“I bask in the sun on the rock – Oh, have a good day” vipers
snakes in Chinese zodiac, who don’t trust us tigers
and that’s probably why we don’t fully trust them,
there are rattling, rustling, very slowly groveling snakes
there are lying, sadistic, fascist snakes
there are snakes in lamb costumes, a snake replacing the rabbit in the magician’s hat
supper snakes for honey badgers, a pet snake wrapped around your neck,
life sentenced snakes in vitrines,
there are revolutionary snakes, human beings with snake tongues, snakes with human tongues (listen)
there are revolutionary snakes, human beings with snake tongues, snakes with human tongues

There are snakes who peddle apples
bush snakes around rods
one waiting with you in the morning
at the bus stop for the first bus to come.
There are snakes who poison your consciousness
snakes that read your mind and tell you that you are stupid.
There are snakes that look so cute and smooth
but inside they are the illest always looking for a better party no matter the price.
There are snakes that never exuviate their own skin
snakes on a plane, trying to get to know
Samuel L. Jackson, there are snakes that don’t
know how to ring the doorbell, so they come to your home through the toilet,
snakes that understand to watch out for you because you look like an owl

There are so many kind of snakes
the ones who love someone so much
that they would cut off their poison teeth for them and
even though they are afraid of light, they would come out of their holes.
There are snakes that have emotion disabilities, snakes that have very bad emotion disabilities
and very thin-skinned snakes,
anacondas, cobras, kraits, mambos, and then there are even
smooth snakes, sea snakes, dragons, snakes that would like to walk
but a slowworm
is not a snake but a lizard
it can drop it’s tail and live up to the age of 30,
a slowworm is not a snake

(For the Finnish original click here.)

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